Elder Robert Hairston, Father of ten
On a brisk Mississippi evening, Elder Robert Hairston, moved gingerly down the steps of his deck, across his backyard to spend time in his “prayer house” a modest, wood-paneled space behind the home he shares with his wife and adult son. He took a reflective pause before entering to reminisce on the early stages of his spiritual journey. “I laid out in the grass and stared at the sky and said, “if there’s a God out there, please help me,” he said. That was in the early 1950s. Through God, FATHER Hairston shared that he’s found refuge, guidance and the tools to establish the foundation upon which his own parenting style was formed.
My dad developed a drinking habit and that added more pressure on the family. Mom and Dad stayed married for 52 years before getting divorced. She went through things. He did teach me to never, never hit a woman. And he taught me work, to work hard. He would have bricks and mortar set up. Even though I didn’t want that kind of work he taught me what he knew. He didn't teach us to save money so it's good that Mom was a money saver. The women (in town) knew when he got paid… they would give him service, get him drunk and take his money. Mom was a way maker. All those things caused the atmosphere in the home to be very hostile. She would wear him and us out and that's the kind of atmosphere that happens when the head (of the house) doesn't know he’s supposed to be the head. Mom took us to church. Dad’s excuse was that when he was a boy he went to church and because he was poor, people treated him badly so he rejected church. Mom had to take over the driver's seat. In church one Sunday, I heard a sermon about heaven when I was five or six. It gripped me then and it's still with me today and I’m six years from 90.
I got saved before I got married. I was finishing college and my wife was finishing high school. We were both saved, filled with the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues. We said we’d put each other first but God would be first before us. God became my father so when our first baby was born, I gave her to God and that's what I did with every child. I’d pray and say, “God this is so much and I need your help.” The Bible says, “train up a child in the way he should go…” so when they were young they’d go to church and sit on the front row. Every child has a different personality and you have to adjust. The oldest was strong willed so you’d have to back down or there would be a fight. I’d pray a lot and threaten to whip her. One time, I whipped her and later I heard somebody singing... just singing away. It was her. I asked God to make me like her… to not hold on to things. Praise God, even when you’re hurt and you had a disagreement. My son that’s 50 now, he’s a retired officer from the military. He left home and stayed in the military for 21 years. He didn’t like our family because I talked to him so much about Jesus. He wanted to do his own thing and even in my house he wanted to have girlfriends and all of that so we had to part ways. When he got into Baghdad and his life was in danger, he got serious about his relationship with God. Now he lives in Texas and he loves his Daddy who he used to not even want to talk to. So, it’s some suffering that you have to go through but you have to stand. I had to pray and let God have his way.
As a father, you have to learn as you go. They call it on the job training. You have to get as much information as you can on yourself because a lot of times the situation is gonna change you.
Anybody can be a dad but it takes study, discipline and consistency to be a father because you are shaping those that you’re living among. A dad just helps to get the baby but avoids the responsibility. Where much is given, much is required and when a person is dodging their responsibility it’s sending a wrong message to the child through the mother. The children will sense there's something missing.
A father is a learner and a daddy is someone who is skipping class.
